Appearing on Monday night’s Late Show with David Letterman, liberal talk show host Bill Maher joked with David Letterman and the audience about the drought in California (where he lives) and after suggesting that global warming was killing off fish and allowing jellyfish to thrive, he drew laughs from the audience when he declared that “[t]he future looks bright if you’re a spineless glob of goo. Which is why I say, Mitt Romney in 2016, ladies and gentlemen.”
During his global warming rant, he lamented that “we have been facing this problem with the environment in general for a long time” and told an intrigued Letterman that he read recently “that, in 40 years, there will be no fish left in the ocean.”
After talking about the environment and then attacking Romney, Letterman asked him about the upcoming presidential election in 2016. Specifically, Maher answered that Hillary Clinton will be running, but added in a caveat to an applauding audience and host that “I'm not saying she's going to win.”
Expanding upon his point, Maher suggested that the former Secretary of State should “[j]ust go away, because we've seen a lot of this woman” and “[w]e're kind of sick of her already and the more she’s out there at this point so early, the more we're gonna get sick of her.”
He also suggested that Clinton is “probably still traumatized by what happened in 2008 when she lost to Obama because she thought it was hers for the taking.” In finishing his observation about Clinton and 2016, he joked that voters in 2008 “basically did to her what her husband did. They – they found someone newer and younger.”
The relevant portions of the transcript from CBS’s Late Show with David Letterman on September 8 (into the early minutes of September 9) are transcribed below.
CBS’s Late Show with David Letterman
September 9, 2014 (September 8th’s show)
12:04 a.m. Eastern
BILL MAHER: Yeah, I mean, it's so bad, I thought, you know, I can't water my lawn anymore. I was, like, I'm going to have to take a personal charge of this situation. So I told my assistant to tell the gardener – [Laughter] I have to be hands on about this. I'm kidding. I told the gardener myself.
DAVID LETTERMAN: [Laughing] Yes.
MAHER: I said, you know, stop watering and they did and the grass died because I saw in a book you can get this thing called desert landscaping. I wished I hadn't let the grass die first because the desert landscaping is just awful. I – you know, a couple of cactus is cute. Like, 20, it's depressing. It's like your having a Death Valley. One Little Rock garden is okay. More than that? I'm living in a quarry now. [Laughter] You know, so, I just wonder what it's going to take for people in this country to get –
LETTERMAN: This drought in California has been going on for how long?
MAHER: Well, what they call severe drought now is for two years, but it's been horrible for a long time. I mean, we have been facing this problem with the environment in general for a long time. I read in the paper the other day that, in 40 years, there will be no fish left in the ocean.
LETTERMAN: 40 years?
MAHER: Yeah. By 2050, there will be no fish left in the – you know what – you know what species is thriving? The one species? Jellyfish.
MAHER: Jellyfish. Everything else, because it's so acid acidified and warmer than it should be, is dying and overfished, but jellyfish because, and we know this because when we were looking for the Malaysian plane, the ocean is – [Laughter] – not funny. The ocean is a big oil slick. It's all oil and plastic.
MAHER: In 40 years, you know what you’ll be eating? Jellyfish. [Laughter]
LETTERMAN: Jellyfish. (Laughter)
MAHER: The future looks bright if you're a spineless glob of goo. Which is why I say, Mitt Romney in 2016, ladies and gentlemen! [Applause]
LETTERMAN: A spineless – spineless glob of goo! Let me – let’s just look ahead at the election, 2016. Do we – are we ready? Do we care? Let's take four years off. No president, anything. (Laughter) Do we have to have a president every four years?
MAHER: Yes, absolutely, we have to have a president because Congress doesn't do anything.
MAHER: Well, we know who's going to run. It's going to be Hillary Clinton.
LETTERMAN: Absolutely, we believe that for sure.
MAHER: Come on, I'm not saying she's going to win, but she's
LETTERMAN: She's my age. She and I are about the same age. definitely going to run.
MAHER: But – my advice to Hillary, I said this on the air, go away for a while. Just go away, because we've seen a lot of this woman. We're kind of sick of her, already and the more she’s out there at this point so early, the more we're gonna get sick of her and, you know, I think she’s probably still traumatized by what happened in 2008 when she lost to Obama because she thought it was hers for the taking and the country, you know, basically did to her what her husband did. They – they [audience reaction] – They found someone newer and younger.