If you're a Tweeter, here's the Charlatan-In-Chief's speech last week in the Twitter idiom:
No News. Lie More. Spend More. Tax More. Borrow More. Print More. Four Years More.
84 characters left over, but nothing more to say.
Perhaps you'd like a convenient outline for that (and every) Obama speech?
1. I inherited this mess.
2. It's all Bush's fault.
3. I probably shouldn't have mentioned that those shovel ready projects weren't as shovel ready as I thought, or when I said hope and change I didn't mean change tomorrow, or that my hope might not be the same as yours. Let's just stick with it all being Bush's fault.
4. I have a new plan to announce. Forget all my other failed plans. This one's cool. I thought this one up while playing golf on vacation. I keep coming up with clever plans just like Wiley Coyote. Wow, I'm smart.
5. My plan is to spend, spend, spend and spend some more. But let's call it "investing."
6. Oh, and let's tax the rich. More. Not because that will cover the spending. It won't, and I have admitted as much on several occasions. I just think we should.
7. There, that does it. You wouldn't think you'd need an army of economists and speech writers to come up with that, but hey, they need jobs, and my number one priority is jobs. Kinda hard to explain Obamacare, Obama financial reform, mass-multiplying of regulations, attacks of my Labor Relations Board on Boeing and home-builders as job creation, but, fortunately, y'all are stupid. So listen: my number one priority is jobs. Really. By the way, inflate your tires, so we don't have to drill.
8. Did I mention I inherited a mess and it's all Bush's fault?
If you didn't want to hang around for the insightful MSNBC pundits' discussion of an Obama speech, here's an outline.
1. Brilliant. Best Ever. Sent a thrill up our legs.
2. If the Republicans disagree with this, they are Tea Party hostages, racists, homophobes, anti-science morons clinging to guns 'n religion who, in the immortal words of Jimmy Hoffa, need to be taken out. Oh, and they say incendiary things, too.
3. Rick Perry is unelectable. That doesn't have anything to do with Obama's speech but we need to say it enough that the Republicans'll fall for it and give Obama a stiff like Romney to run against.
4. It's all Bush's fault.