Hostages Pitches A Lousy Curve

'Hostages' Recap: Will Ellen's Connection to Duncan Be Her Downfall?I'm convinced that, as a creative exercise before beginning work on this show, the writers lined up two dozen sharks and then waterskied over all of them. 

This week's "big reveal" is a doozie. Hope you're sitting down for this one: Duncan's wife is the president's daughter! The president raped her mom!! Duncan is in on the assassination plot because he needs the president's bone marrow to save his wife! It's the only way! 

Or maybe, perhaps, there's Duncan's wife's mom, who Ellen finds after exactly two seconds of searching.

I get it: the writers want to humanize Duncan, all while establishing the president is a total black-hat villian who deserves to die so we don't feel guilty about rooting for the would-be assassin. But you're seriously telling me his wife has bone marrow so rare the only way to save her is stealing the president's bone marrow? Just for kicks, here's a list, just off the top of my head, of things Duncan might have tried first.

Try to get the president to donate bone marrow without killing him, launch a social media campaign to try to find a donor match, get the local news to do a story on her, go to the black market, cold-call random numbers from the phone book...

I'm sure you can come up with a few too if you try real hard.