No "Pride" at NBC

Most parents naturally squirm at the TV concept of an "adult cartoon." That goes double for shows with simplistic animation or cute cuddly animal characters, which are low-hanging fruit for the littlest children to pick. The first show of this kind was "South Park," which looks like a kindergarten art project but sounds like a bad day at a juvenile delinquency center.

Now NBC has unveiled "Father of the Pride," which looks like "Shrek" but sounds as sad and horny as last years failed Whoopi Goldberg sitcom. The concept behind the show - a cartoon about the lions in Siegfried and Roys Las Vegas lion-tamer act - could be adorable with a family theme. Just how difficult would that be? For NBC, its apparently impossible. Theyve found a way to sewagize even this.

But this show is all about getting what they call "zoom zoom in the boom boom." In this new shows first episode, Larry the Lion heads home to have sex with his wife because she's in heat and roars, "Hey, Big Daddys home and hes ready for loving! It may be 9 o'clock in New York but right here, it's mountin' time!" When his wife declines, he tries spray-painting a happy face on his nipples and belly with whipped cream.

Later, Larry hears a slurping noise and looks down to find a cat licking his crotch area. The cat, in a male voice, says, "What? Your wife aint doing it. Im all you got, sunshine." If thats not enough, Larrys daughter says "Im on my way to a party by the reptile house. I probably wont take drugs, but I wont really know until I get there." Still focusing on getting the love life going, Dad dismisses his daughter with: "Thats fine. See you later." The first episodes sophisticated dialogue lines included "dont look at my ass" and "I got stuck with this bitch."

NBC's avalanche of ads during the Olympics mentioned that this cartoon was an "adult comedy" and they scheduled it at 9 pm Eastern time, which NBC thought would send a message that it was not appropriate for children under 14 (and it was rated TV-14, as if its appropriate for 14-year-olds). But the avalanche of ads during NBCs weeks of Olympics coverage also mentioned that the show comes from Dreamworks, "the same guys who brought you Shrek." Thats no idle message. "Shrek 2" was the monster box-office smash of the summer, seen by a millions upon millions of American children. Unsurprisingly, "Father of the Pride" came in second for the week among children aged 2 to 11.

Many parents find the entertainment thats most appealing to pre-school children the Barneys, the Wiggles, and even the Rugrats so cloying they feel the urge to run from the room. But if that kind of soft, safe, and cutesy entertainment is what those little ones really enjoy, how much of a culture shock are they getting when the family TV turns to NBC for some cartoon crotch-licking and drug humor?

The episodes following the premiere were more of the same. In the second episode, the Roy character says "Magic, you fickle bitch." He says to the Siegried character: "Dont be an ass of jacks." When guests surprise Larry, he suggests saracastically its pleasant, "like when the gas wears off early and your dentist is buckling his pants." The show had a "Today" show subplot, complete with an animated Matt Lauer. Larrys dad exclaimed, "Katie Courics got that good-girl-but-probably-wild-in-the-sack thing going on." But perhaps the most unique moment of the night were the lesbian gophers kissing, moaning, and rubbing each other while the males took pictures.

The third episode had more drug humor. The plot surrounded Larrys belief that his daughter was doing "catnip." After jokes about how Larry enjoyed passing around the "catnip" to attract the girls in his youth. There are more jokes about the sad lions who use "catnip" as a "gateway drug" and end up love being shot by tranquilizer darts. The daughter slips out of the house. In her room, they find instead their son, who says "she said if I didnt pretend to be her, shed kill Santa." In another sign of the shows attitude toward childhood innocence, Larry replies: "Aw dont worry, buddy. Theres no Santa." Relief unfolds when the teenage daughter announces she only has a new adult boyfriend, and theyre going on a camping trip together.

This show is not cute, and its certainly not funny. It merely demonstrates that Hollywood cant stop fixating on tawdry sex and drug use, not even when theyre making cartoon shows about lions. "Father of the Pride" shows there is no pride at NBC.