Appearing as a guest on Tuesday's Conan show on TBS, HBO comedian Bill Maher absurdly suggested the recent allegations that Mitt Romney engaged in "bullying" in high school are worse than being molested by Michael Jackson, and asserted that he would be willing trade being beat up in grade school for being "gently masturbated by a pop star."
Maher also again attacked Mormonism and religion generally, using uncensored vulgarity, and seemed to hold Romney responsible for the polygamy of his grandfather.
The Real Time host brought up Michael Jackson to suggest that Romney had behaved worse than a child molester:
But as far as this bullying, you know, this made me think of the Michael Jackson situation. Because, you know, he was accused of being a child molester. We'll never know because he's gone, but even his worst accuser never said that he did anything like actually have sex with them. It was grabby, grabby under the covers. Which is terribly wrong.
However, when I was 12 years old, I was beaten on the playground. Just like the Mitt Romney thing, I was held down and somebody just punched me in the face while other kids watched. And if I could go back to 1968 and trade that experience for being gently masturbated by a pop star- (AUDIENCE LAUGHTER) -I would do it in a second. Frankie Valli could jerk me off. Gary Puckett of the Union Gap. The Allman Brothers, if we could go back in time. Marvin Gaye.
A bit earlier in the segment, while trashing Republicans for opposing same-sex marriage, Maher singled out Romney's Mormon faith for particular ridicule:
Of all the people to be making this claim that marriage is between one man and one - a Mormon? Between one man and - except for my (Romney's) grandfather, who went to Mexico specifically to get away from a country that said you have to have a marriage that's only one - they went to Mexico, the Romneys.
I mean, Mormonism, I don't want to get off on Mormonism, you know how I feel about religion, it's all bat****. (AUDIENCE LAUGHTER) But, I mean, this is, this is a religion, this is a religion that is so stupid that Tom Cruise would not join it. (AUDIENCE LAUGHTER) And Glenn Beck did.
-Brad Wilmouth is a news analyst at the Media Research Center