Newsweek Writer: Open Marriages Key to Ending 'Cheating Scandals'
For Newsweek writer Jenny Block, it's not Tiger Woods who got himself into the trouble he's currently facing, it's his marital vows.
“What should not be tolerated is hypocrisy – and that's where Tiger's vow of marriage got him into trouble,” she argued in a Dec. 10 article. “If you want to be monogamous, great – but don't think you can claim it while you sleep around. It's not fair and, quite frankly, it's exhausting.”
Block argued that it's not “surprising” to learn of Woods' affairs because his “entire life is based on winning; on having, doing, and being more … why on earth would anyone think 'settling down' was even in his vocabulary?”
But Block has a solution to the problem of adultery.
In what could be an advertisement for open marriages, Block explained that she and her husband “jointly decided that monogamy just wasn't for us” after she had an affair with a woman.”
“We love each other and want to be together, but monogamy is not the cornerstone of our partnership – trust is. So we decided to open up our relationship to other people,” she wrote.
Block portrayed her open marriage as a relational utopia:
First we both dated the same woman. Then my husband dated her and I saw other people. And then they broke up and I dabbled until I met a woman, who like my husband, I cannot imagine being without. And so now it's her and me and him and him and me, and we are all fabulous friends. Everyone gets their needs met. No one feels left out or guilty, and the only time any of us questions our lifestyle is when we let those Disney movies come creeping back into our heads.”
She based her argument in favor of open relationships on a belief that, “Human beings desire variety” and “multiple partners”
“It's a simple fact that's built into our biology,” she claimed. “And while some choose monogamy simply because it feels right, I think many more of us choose it because we think it's what we're supposed to do. You don't want to end up as an old maid or a lonely bachelor, do you?”
“Monogamy just isn't always realistic. There's nothing wrong with admitting that,” continued Block. “It simply doesn't work for some. And just as people choose different religions, eating habits, and places to call home, I believe we should be able to choose different ways to live out our relationship.”
She later insisted, “monogamy is a choice.” “But until it's treated like one, cheating scandals will continue to pop up and the public will continue to eat them up.”
What Block failed to understand is that it's not monogamy that causes cheating scandals – it's caused by individuals who do not take the concept seriously enough to use self-control in the face of temptation.
Cheating scandals are caused by cheaters, not by the principle of monogamy.